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_92.webp "A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”")
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_philippines-weve-never-agreed-to-chinas-ayungin-proposals.webp "The Philippine foreign affairs department clarifies Tuesday, May 7, no Cabinet-level official in the Marcos administration has agreed to ‘any Chinese proposal’ on the Ayungin Shoal.<br/><br/>Full story: https://www.rappler.com/philippines/no-agreement-china-proposal-ayungin-shoal/")
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_2024-toyota-bz4x-awd-off-road-driving-video.webp "The all-new Toyota bZ4X SUV has arrived in Australian showrooms, with Toyota’s first BEV introducing a new BEV-specific platform, the latest motor generator and battery technology, and advanced safety and connected technologies.<br/><br/>Launching in its latest global specification, the bZ4X draws on more than a quarter of a century of Toyota leadership in hybrid vehicles. The bZ4X represents another important step in the multi-pathway approach to electrification that includes a range of technologies<br/><br/>The bZ4X is the first Toyota to use the new BEV-dedicated e-TNGA platform, which has been designed and optimised for a new range of electric vehicles. It integrates the battery and motor generator into the vehicle’s structure, providing extra rigidity and a low centre of gravity for stable driving dynamics. This approach allows the wheels to be pushed further outward to the front and rear, leaving more room for passengers within the vehicle’s footprint. It also offers the versatility of front or all-wheel-drive traction – the latter providing benchmark off-road capability among all-electric SUVs.<br/><br/>The e-TNGA platform gave designers the freedom to create an innovative BEV that embodies the inherent appeal of an SUV shape, while achieving impressive aerodynamic efficiency.<br/><br/>The front-wheel-drive (FWD) bZ4X is equipped with poly-ellipsoidal LED headlights, 20-inch alloy wheels, numerous convenience and safety details, heated side mirrors with auto power folding, power tailgate and privacy glass for rear side, quarter and back windows.<br/><br/>The interior features fabric and SofTex® (synthetic leather) trim, eight-way power adjustable driver seat, heated front seats, leather-accented steering wheel, dual-zone climate control, smart entry and start, four cupholders and eight bottle holders.<br/><br/>The latest Toyota multimedia technology is housed within a 12.3-inch touchscreen and is compatible with wireless Apple CarPlay®and wireless Android Auto™. Enhanced voice recognition using the “Hey, Toyota” command can control several functions such as “Open all windows”. This multimedia suite is augmented by the latest Toyota Connected Services online features, including integration with the myToyota Connect smartphone app, which is offered for a complimentary period of 12 months.<br/><br/>The bZ4X comes with BEV specific connected features such as charge station locators and charge management functionality within the myToyota Connect smartphone app. Over-the-air updates, cloud navigation and live traffic information are included. The latest Toyota Safety Sense suite integrates a comprehensive array of safety technologies within a BEV structure designed to protect passengers, the battery and other vehicles and pedestrians.")
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