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A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”

⏲ 4:49 👁 68.1M

TEDx Talks

The most important lesson from 83,000 brain scans | Daniel Amen | TEDxOrangeCoast

⏲ 14 minutes 37 seconds 👁 10.4M

CBS Mornings

Can fMRI brain scans spot suicidal thoughts?

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Animation is created by Bright Side.<br/>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>Music from TheSoul Sound: https://thesoul-sound.com/<br/> <br/>Check our Bright Side podcast on Spotify and leave a positive review! https://open.spotify.com/show/0hUkPxD34jRLrMrJux4VxV<br/> <br/>Subscribe to Bright Side: https://goo.gl/rQTJZz<br/>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>Our Social Media:<br/>Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brightside<br/>Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brightside.official<br/>TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brightside.official?lang=en<br/> <br/>Stock materials (photos, footages and other):<br/>https://www.depositphotos.com<br/>https://www.shutterstock.com<br/>https://www.eastnews.ru<br/>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/> For more videos and articles visit:<br/>http://www.brightside.me<br/> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>This video is made for entertainment purposes. We do not make any warranties about the completeness, safety and reliability. Any action you take upon the information in this video is strictly at your own risk, and we will not be liable for any damages or losses. It is the viewer's responsibility to use judgement, care and precaution if you plan to replicate.

These Facts Will Melt Your Brain in the Best Way Possible

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Aaron Boster MD

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No matter how a terrible place the world is, there is always someone who proves that the good always wins. Maybe that’s the first and only chance given by a fate that has never been fair to you. The name of that chance that will change the fate of eighteen-year-old high school student Eylul (Oyku Karayel) is Ali Asaf Denizoglu (Gokhan Alkan). The story begins in a high school of a town in the Aegean region. After the two part ways, they cross paths again on the roof of Istanbul’s best hospital! The young brain surgeon Eylul tells her story while she gives a good beating to a group of bullies who raids the hospital’s emergency room. She was a rebellious girl who had changed schools many times and whom teachers didn’t want to deal with. Even when her father picked her up from the last school she got expelled from and beat her very bad, she did not shed a single teardrop. However, that day her whole life changes; the prayer of her grandmother, who ran a small hostel in Marmaris and opened her house to Eylul brings a miracle. \

Heart Beat - Best Moments #3

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علاء بيومي

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InvestAnswers

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After an FIA WEC race, the Ferrari 499Ps return to Italy where each car undergoes meticulous inspections and fine-tuning in preparation for the next race. At the headquarters of racing partner AF Corse, the preparation of a hybrid hypercar consists of six main stages which, in addition to assembly and numerous checks, include the fire-up and bodywork scanning. A team effort, where the engineers’ data collection, the mechanics’ expertise and the use of advanced tools converge to achieve the ultimate synthesis.

Ferrari 499P - The hypercar's pre-race preparation

⏲ 4:49 👁 53.5M

Dr. Phil

Radiologist Shows What He Found in Brain Scans of Man With Severe Anger Issues

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Ally Boothroyd | Sarovara Yoga

Yoga Nidra to Calm the Mind

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