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A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”
⏲ 4:49 👁 2.4M
Police in Kenya say at least 40 people have died after a dam collapsed in the country's west.
⏲ 0:51 👁 14M
MP’s debated on Monday April 29th whether assisted dying should be legalised in the UK.
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Every year sees the sporting world lose at least a few legends — but if the last few months are anything to go by, it seems 2024 is going to be a more painful year than most.
⏲ 6:54 👁 114.8M
Police are searching for an attacker, after a surfer was stabbed at Coffs Harbour this morning. The 22 year-old-man, found with multiple stab wounds was taken to hospital early this morning. Police have since confirmed he has died, with a homicide investigation now underway.
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Goldy Brar, the prime suspect in the Murder case of Punjabi singer Sidhu Moosewala, has been fatally shot in the US, according to media reports. According to reports, citing American news channels, Brar, who was declared a terrorist by the Home Ministry, was attacked on Tuesday evening in Fairmont and Holt Avenue. Unidentified attackers allegedly opened fire on Brar and his buddy as they were standing outside his house and then fled the area. Two people were taken to the hospital where one of them died.<br/> <br/>#SidhuMoosewala #GoldyBrar #ArshDallaLakhbir #MurderMastermind #USCrime #GangWarfare #JusticeForGoldyBrar #RivalryEndsInViolence #CriminalJustice #CrimeNews<br/>~PR.152~ED.155~GR.125~HT.96~
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Washington Commanders third round NFL Draft pick joins Grant & Danny for the first time to discuss his father and brother's role asNFL players in helping him prepare for the Draft.
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At least two people have died of suspected heat stroke in the southern Indian state of Kerala on Monday (April 29), as the country battles temperatures soaring to record levels. <br/><br/>WATCH MORE: https://thestartv.com/c/news<br/>SUBSCRIBE: https://cutt.ly/TheStar<br/>LIKE: https://fb.com/TheStarOnline
⏲ 1:13 👁 14.7M
MPs debate assisted dying after petition backed by Dame Esther Rantzen gets 200,000+ signatures. What are your views on assisted dying? Should people have the right to choose? Is it fair that families can get in trouble? Would you like to have the choice if you or a loved one were terminally ill?
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Most pundits expected the Cowboys to address their offensive line in this year's NFL Draft, and that's exactly what they did. With three new lineman in tow, how much better is their offensive line now than when last season ended? GBag discusses which offensive lines improved the most from this year's NFL Draft across the NFL.
⏲ 7:9 👁 1.7M
A widow says she has to “carry on living for her baby” after her husband was killed when she was 17 weeks pregnant. <br/><br/>Sophie Ransom, 26, felt a “wife’s intuition” when she woke up without husband Paul, 25, next to her on the morning of May 24, 2023. <br/><br/>She was later informed by police he’d been in a collision on his Suzuki motorbike and died at the scene. <br/><br/>The mum-of-one says she lived on autopilot for the next month - but when she felt her baby kicking for the first time, she had a reason to carry on. <br/><br/>Now, she says she wakes up with the intention to “smile and laugh at least once a day” - despite thinking she could never be happy again. <br/><br/>Sophie, a project manager from Bury St. Edmunds, Suffolk, said: “Life as a young widow is hard - it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and so exhausting.
⏲ 0:50 👁 2M
Christy Turlington Burns has had countless iconic fashion moments in her career. In this episode of Fashion Flashback, the Harper's BAZAAR cover star looks back at some of her most beloved runway looks — from Marc Jacobs to Valentino, Ralph Lauren, and Chanel. The original supermodel also shares memories of the Dior accessory that stood out the most to her, walking the glamorous Valentino shows, and the genius of Karl Lagerfeld.<br/><br/>Check out Christy Turlington Burns' Harper's BAZAAR cover here: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/fashion/models/a60538137/christy-turlington-burns-interview-2024/<br/><br/>#ChristyTurlingtonBurns #FashionFlashback #BAZAAR
⏲ 6:21 👁 28.8M
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